We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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