Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
