Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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