Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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