Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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