im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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