My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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