Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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