Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
