All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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