I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
