They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
