I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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