question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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