No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
do herpes really smell.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
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