Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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