tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize