i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
