Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
