i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
