i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize