Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
