Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
