I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
