hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize