tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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