I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
and you fell through a lawn chair
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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