she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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