i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize