That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
