I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
