i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
