Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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