Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
