I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
