$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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