is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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