Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
