Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
