You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
