HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
