...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
