Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
