How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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