Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Randomize
