no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
