You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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