margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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