I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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