There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize