the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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