Tell her she can't have a vagina
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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