he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
