she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
