you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize