I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
