doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
