I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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