Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
