Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
